If I thought my poetry ever be accepted by a big small deal I’dv’d foldered all abandoned haikus but don’t don’t but do but don’t not concession to lack of academic scaffolding laugh I know I type arrhythmic cadence as I talk This criticism and pride I forget what saying get to what new thing I say talking past new thing cause old already me voice mail whisperer lords I serve voice mail listener too re: PD hear myself talk each time I need listen, delete delete delete years since anyone talked to me. Monkeypox, huh
Category: Bleggalgaze
2022 May 17
Not type night yet time
running out he taps Wiser
me still stops to think
instead of just typing
this counting to five focuses
abacus
me on beads for praise
Freight trains kettled in my bark
yards abbreviated
2022 May 10
Hurtling, me. Outrage
outpaced by duh, paraphrase
daily. Spurtling me
2022 May 3
Jeff, | Rule | Number | One: | Don’t | explain | |||||||||
Nothing | fucks | my | judgment | up | more | about | something | I | write | than | ||||
something | I | write | getting | thousands | instead | of | dozens | of | hits, | in | this | |||
case | Napoleon’s | death | announcement. | I | deleted | the | poem | below | this | |||||
one | from | yesterdays’ | BLCKDGRD | post, | for | the | record | I | like | the | poem | below | ||
Installed | static | in | its | place | ||||||||||
2022 May 1
- I don’t have a word for these things I made, I don’t make them anymore, I found them rummaging the archives of another dead blog for typed words
- When I made the self-portraits that I quit making a year ago I had already stopped writing or typing word on the thing I had made then quit making self-portraits three or four years later
- I quit writing or typing on made things when the made thing became more important to me than the written or typed thing, I quit making self-portraits when I liked making self-portraits more than writing or typing and quit writing when I liked typing more than writing so I don’t need daily decipher yesterday’s scribble
- My second time through Joy Williams’ *Harrow,* dig this sentence: “The land was bright with raging fires ringed with sportsman shooting the crazed creatures trying to escape the flames”
- I believe I can bat away this uh-oh a toothache coming familiar remembering twinge laugh
- Spinning the fuck-it compost bin, fat tubes of primary colors in a shoebox in my desk
- If I make things again I permit myself to write again and not necessarily just making *then* writing
- I always spiral in and out but need just once not spiral up as I spiraled down
2020 420
© | ® | ≠ | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
P | l | e | a | s | e | d | w | i | t | h | t | o | d | a | y’ | s | p | o | o | p | |||||||||||
c | o | n | t | e | n | t | a | n | d | p | r | e | s | e | n | t | a | t | i | o | n | © | |||||||||
b | o | t | h, | f | a | r | t | M | i | c | h | i | g | a | n | ||||||||||||||||
® | © | ® | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
© | o | u | t | o | f | m | y | s | y | s | t | e | m | ||||||||||||||||||
F | u | c | k | m | e | a | n | d | p | a | r | a | p | h | r | a | s | i | n | g | |||||||||||
m | e | a | n | d | p | r | e | t | e | n | d | i | n | g | ® | ||||||||||||||||
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© | p | a | r | a | p | h | r | a | s | i | n | g | m | e | |||||||||||||||||
a | n | g | u | i | s | h | e | s | m | e, | m | y | m | o | l | e | s | k | i | n | e | s | © | ||||||||
f | r | o | m | 1 | 9 | 8 | 0 | © | |||||||||||||||||||||||
© | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
m | i | l | d | e | w | i | n | g | u | n | r | e | a | d | |||||||||||||||||
b | y | m | e, | t | h | a | n | k | y | o | u | f | o | r | p | i | n | g | i | n | g | ||||||||||
m | y | s | c | r | e | a | m | ! | W | o | r | l | d | d | y | i | n | g | |||||||||||||
® | © | ® | ≠ |
2022 April 10
* | * | * | * | * | * | * | |||||
Kensington to Frederick to Hagerstown to Hancock to Breezewood to Toledo to Ann Arbor to Jackson | I divided my backpack to bring twice as much stuff including books I will not read and pens I will not use | I just received Jonathan Crary’s *Scorched Earth,* it’s his previous 24/7 capitalism theory on Are You Paying Attention! | do I need someone w proper academic scaffolding referring back to names I haven’t thought of since grad school | to confirm our species as fucked up as I’ve fucking yodeled since the last time you told me to shut the fuck up? | |||||||
* | * | * | * | * | * | * |
2022 April 6
🡭 | ▨ | |||||||
why | not | try | to | get | ||||
a | few | published? | On | other | ||||
hand | why | not | not | yes | ? | |||
⇌ | 🡭 | |||||||
Incrimination? | ▨ | |||||||
what | a | daydream | of | success! | ||||
🡭 | ||||||||
arrested | haiku | |||||||
▨ | 🡭 | |||||||
I | abbreviate | |||||||
evaporate | abandon | |||||||
O | to | hear | you | clap | ||||
⇌ |
2022 April 4
- At Hilltop now a covid, flu, and strep outbreak
- Two weeks ago the mask mandate lifted as did mandatory covid testing for undergraduates
- 80% of people on campus maskless, all aware of the covid, flu, and strep outbreak
- Myself and my colleagues wear masks because one of us is six months pregnant and worries
- Our boss doesn’t, sits in small enclosed rooms with us
- My colleagues are livid at boss and I am livid for them
- Key component of our shitlord ordered daily reprogramming
- requires lucratively rewarded amoral shitlord psy-op savants rewiring us
- to ignore the personal livid for seething hatred
- against anything and anybody and everything but shitlords
- Did you know that Disney is Communist?
- I will ask my boss in our weekly one-on-one to wear a mask at least in the presence of the one of us who is pregnant
- I’m not hopeful I won’t have to write about it without some increase to my personal lividity, revolution!
2022 March 29
- Made the mistake again of attempting a novel recommended by anyone I know in real life or digital who talks incessantly about Blanchot
- It hurts, this wanting to give a dimension to life when life is precisely that dimension, Ashbery said
- I’m not reseeding MSADI5G but the new Destroyer album versus the new Guided by Voices album, it’s not close, so not close, so I am reseeding: I rescind Guided by Voices elevation to Third Permanent Seat, I can type about this all day every day and my forbidding myself even in digitabletdaily works most days
- Destroyer’s new album did it, sparked it, five great songs, two omg songs, two holyfuck songs, one KABOOM, three seconds in, the only reason it will never be one of my five favorite songs ever is I’m old and other songs have up to a fifty year head start
- three seconds in, KABOOM JOY! laugh, I’d forgot, kaboom joy like pain kaboom
- body remembered, mind-muffled until activated, poof! everyone wants to be engraved as an epitaph
- Other than Ashbery, who people call difficult, I don’t want to read geniuses analyzing why they can’t (but *how* Zeno’s dilemma close they got page after painstaking page) capture the ineffable in words, woe and angst (and zero humor)
- Ashbery said, Alone with our madness and favorite flower we see that there really is nothing left to write about. Or rather, it is necessary to write about the same old things in the same way, repeating the same things over and over for love to continue and be gradually different
- Destroyer’s new album reminded me I (still love Roxy Music) thrill on tribal trills, their kits and chords, I chimed. There, I tried
2022 March 24
- Can’t stop thinking about dinner Saturday night past and my interaction with my not-blood sister-in-law a poster child for upperest middle-class privileged Democrat
- – I wrote that part Wednesday morning I’m typing now Wednesday night – when I typed in the morning I didn’t think about N-B S-I-L weirdass mention of Madelyn Albright as a personal hero in our conversations, her smacked expression when I called Albright the war criminal she is and now (by grace of Blessed Serendipity) was (for this poem’s sake) (worth it)
- I said as a peace offering, you cannot be a United States Secretary of State and not be a war criminal, but that didn’t help
- I saw Albright on campus within the past two months, and the loyalty she inspired in her colleagues and students tells you all you need to know about the curriculum of this Shitlord World Domination Wargame Training Facility, wait til you meet the grad students and faculty of government, business, and economics
- I did not say anything when N-B S-I-L (I do have a blood sister-in-law, she’s nice, she and L make each other laugh) tried to Hillary-bait me, I was busy not biting on brother-in-laws baiting me with Steve Miller Band songs
- Hilltop killed its mask mandate, don’t think it’s related to Madelyn Albright’s death, just asking, I wear my mask for people who want me to wear my mask as well as me
- half Hilltop happily unmasked, seeing the lower half of a face I’ve seen half hidden for two year I think fuck
- Do I look like an almost but not me to you too? do you forget my name for a second when you see my mouth for the first time in two years?
- This is true, the copy-pasting magic of wordpress over, new bloggerfart, what? deffjump is taken?
2022 March 21
My let’s stay in touch with all past workers except Alexa now on them next
Let me make it on me please. I could be their dad, played one at work
My daughter’s birthday today, she moved away too
The minute you don’t work there you never worked there ever
An app called Classmates badgers me my 45th GHS reunion
approaching rapidly, see who’s RSVPeed
I’d not recognize the names of most, not greet the names I know
I choose not to give them $29.95 to see if I’m right
2022 March 16
No one besides those that like
to be kind will kind any of the songs
I tweeted nor bump the album’s 40th
notice. I’ve been reading Carl
Phillips, this path out of haikus
does not preclude new haikus,
my not tapping knuckles and knuckle
valleys for thirty-one day months
I ask you to give the album a listen
if it doesn’t change your world I won’t
brain you with a garden shovel, I daydream
of braining certain people but so far
no one in real life, fart. I am programmed
to daydream I want to brain certain
people with a garden shovel so I don’t
brain anyone with any say over my life
2022 March 15
Me in a Robert Serra at Glenstone, a rich fuck’s private art collection as laundromat but free, just need a reservation, usually need to make months in advance, it was Sunday morning an hour short because of clocks and the wind chill factor in the lows teens I was told on the eights so I what the fuck tried and got us in at 10AM, only slot open, Saul to Parkwood to Knowles turns to Strathmore to Rockville Pike to Tuckerman to Falls to Glen (the bridge over Watts Branch where Glen, South Glen, and Glen Mills meet still magic) to there | ||||||||||
Humanity cannot outgrow its death drive! | ||||||||||
Waltzing towards Armageddon | ||||||||||
This is a fossil-fuel war | ||||||||||
The epidemic of covid complacency | ||||||||||
Death of a political animal | ||||||||||
Not only the first museum we visited since plague and then not-plague plague, the only shitlord showoff laundromat I’ve ever visited that *didn’t* charge me for the privilege of admiring shitlord’s collection | ||||||||||
Low pay, no advancement opportunities | ||||||||||
⤋ | In which I jinx my reading of Wings | ⤋ | ||||||||
Henry James reviews America upon his return from self-exile | ||||||||||
I read Ohle’s *Motorman* and loved and ordered the next Mordenke novel but weirdest the sherbet I thought between the two *another* attempt at Henry James, so here I am jinxing not only the having fun! read of Wings of the Dove I am jinxing my reading of the next Mordenke of Ohle | ||||||||||
Shitlord loyal to their rubes, MLB edition | ||||||||||
Maggie’s weekly | { feuilleton }’s weekly | |||||||||
I will write about work here but for now I’m burying it in grids not because anyone who’d object reads but here is the Kids in the Hall allusion | ||||||||||
The cats and dogs of Istanbul | ||||||||||
Lynn Emanuel | Covering Ishiguro | |||||||||
2022 March 9

2022 February 22

2022 January 2

2021 November 30

2021 October 17
Subaru hate and desperate I own a new Subaru |
a base model 2022 Impreza sedan one of only two new cars available |
plus Fitz did me right on the trade-in for fucked-up service on recall |
Too, try walk into a car dealership and buy a new car, cash in hand |
there will not be another new car in America until 2025 |
Bluetooth works there’s no CD-player |
console not a casino slot machine |
It made it to 70 on 270 today without shuddering |
2021 August 28
I thought life in bro | ken kayfabe would be more fun | ||
idiot admits | |||
2021 August 9
Nothing to say doesn’t stop me from saying something
Just because I say it out loud doesn’t mean I have to say it to you, here I am
Nothing to say is telling you something that you already know, nod
Everyone agrees we’re being reprogrammed I don’t tell you three times anymore
2018 July 18
Disclaimer: I’ve no
academic scaffolding
so stop reading now
you want allusions
beyond those I discover
after abandon
2021 July 17
How many times do you think you’ve pissed in your life?
I will be 62 in six weeks do the math that’s 22,630 days
4 into 62 add 15.5 days for leap years = 22,645.5 days
x how many times you pissed a day on average
factoring age, medical history, especially UTIs
plumbing and sump pump problems, weight fluctuations
everything you’ve forgot not just the last time you pissed
My problem acknowledging
Shitlords censoring crackers to incite crackers
yes to incite crackers but more incite me?
Works, visa versa of course, fractionally Shittier Chow when necessary!
The valence of -.06% less-shittiyism
For the oofed time tonight I remind myself not to explain, here’s
why How many times now? I don’t keep count
2021 May 31

2021 May 22
Incendiary
Cicadapaloozaburg
disciplinary
truth: it sucks so far
Not what promised, remembered
Coordinated
concatenated
cicada psalms deafening:
no Hot tomorrow
Sunday, Monday sing
cicadas or we’ve fucked up
Earth more than we know
2021 April 15
Two days ago an oral surgeon ball peen hammered out the rest of my main grindstone,s dead tooth then glued in with my drawn blood a cadaver’s bone graft before drilling the peg (it will come back to you) for my crown in four months |
Two rounds of hammering, both times my mouth full rictus by doorjamb while nurse used both hands under my jaw to brace for whammering |
Didn’t hurt at all, hasn’t hurt since, the excavation site, jaw, stitched gums, he RXed me vicodan and no and no and as I type this I haven’t Aleved or Tylenoled |
I ate four megadose antibiotic an hour before the surgery and five more since with four more to go and I will comply and understand why but that and a sore trench diet = purge |
Plus the physical trauma tomorrow and Friday, I do feel I took a fall and hit my head that I can’t remember of a sudden |
Post -experience, why didn’t I have my phone on record to hear him ask repeatedly you ok me doorjamb opened with my tongue pinned down by nurse when hammering me diaphragming uh-huh to record the tapping like hour bells, it didn’t occur to me so fuck me and didn’t occur to them and more likely they don’t care |
I needed a ghost experience I have a dead man’s bone in my mouth |
2021 April 13
Oral surgery this morning, an implant for the main grindstone, I’ll be offered painkillers but hope to not need them (I didn’t after wisdom teeth yanked) | Original appt three weeks ago, I was cresting, save down for down whenever possible | Fortunately for the surgery I need get done no crest needs saving since thoughts about the clusterfuck despite blue bells bloomed in head |
Another human’s bone installed in my jaw knot | ||
to anchor the peg (it will c0me back to you) of my next more than temporary but heavens from permanent crown | ||
(Leo Feldman and his homunculus, I know, it’s the first thing I thought of too) | (That *Fine Metaphors Abound* not divisible by five or seven proof of theory!) | The first words I heard Joe Biden speak about the most recent publicly know murder of a Black guy by cops were, I paraphrase, whatever you do don’t go to the local Walmart and steal diapers and formula you can’t afford on minimum wage |
*Scholarly scaffolding* a Kind littwitter with scholarly scaffolding Goal One said to me about Amy Clampett whose *The Kingfisher* dropped when I was twenty-three and changed my ear and why nobody reads her now | ||
OK with you if I disappear without explaining? |
2021 March 18
Civil Warning | << Are we living through another antebellum era? | N O | No No No | I don’t Triskelion no more | Wind up saying same shit as before |
2021 March 16
Josie’s father
Part Three = Coggling Machine
Chells bime
That Klara programmed to Kind
itself programmed to sacrifice for owner
Klara programmed to believe all parental motives honorable
Klara talks of its fellow Artificial Friends for sale and misses their staring out the window at customers and both adjusting their head tilts and facial expressions to best sell themselves as artificial, what works best
One of Ishiguro’s always themes parenting and lack thereof, orphans, always orphans
Klara thinks Josie runs on Sun
The story line of Klara’s sacrifice is strained, as is its success, as is the book’s
My bells chime, this machine naif puppeted by handlers with different motives it was programmed to believe all without question
I’ve part five of five tomorrow. I bet Klara ends up in the used artificial friend lot (typed Monday)
Rick the only other character in novel through part four not tainted with motive, so far nothing but Kind
That at certain times Klara cannot control its vision suggests someone is directing it to see what the someone wants or more importantly doesn’t want Klara to see
When the mother gave Klara a test-run as Josie
Why is the housekeeper named Melania who speaks with a central European Slav accent?
When the mother accused Rick of being happy he hadn’t been lifted while one of her daughters dead from lifting, the other now near death
Me and objects, the ones – rocks, watches, Dogduck – I believe in some small empathic connection
Contrast and compare how the Mother treats Melania and Klara
Manager, Klara, Mother, Housekeeper, Rick, Rick’s mother, Rick’s mother’s ex-lover, Klara’s father, puppeteer
So Father goes along with Klara’s plan to disable Pollution in deal with sun who would save Josie (the father listens to the machine say I can’t tell you but help *me* save your daughter and he’s like, Ok I will, but let me short-circuit this machine to save my daughter) in order to disable Josie so the puppeteer can’t create a Klara as Josie, the reason Mother bought Klara
Manager noticed Klara’s exceptional talents as an observer and info-processor than others of the same model Artificial Friend from the same assembly line and tells Klara when Manager sees Klara in… I was almost right, was worse than I thought
Rick and Josie split up after Josie recovers, she goes to Lifted University, he starts a career building spy surveillance drones
Klara would have died to save Josie, programmed into a machine parents buy their lonely mid-teen children: sacrifice
Enough for now. I re-plensished my plastic animals, Happy Tree Knot
A watch I had for fifteen years, the strap broke but I was fatter my knees bad year I bought a self-surveillance tracker I lost weight I lost soul
I could still buy a new strap but don’t but
2021 March 4
- I don’t want to daily document the Manchin presidency’s shitlord taint
- Last night in car my favorite version of New Order’s *Temptation* shuffled o
- you got green eyes o you got blue eyes o you got grey eyes
- but. Can you imagine a month digitally unfed, someplace gorgeous, sumptuous, disconnected?
- Can you imagine imagining what permanently paradigm altering catastrophic kaboom
- you hope don’t happen until you returnto hottake
- imagine while I eat fresh roasted just harvested vegetables
- after a breathtaking ten mile mountain loop with Earthgirl? my vacation email fuckyouing you
- If I leave my Fitbit at home in the morning I’m a mess at work the rest of the day
- I wear Dickies carpenter pants with front pocket halfway to my knees deep for my phone right pocket righthanded
- Before the plague I thought it an impossibility I would – I think about this a lot, daily – thinking it might save me
- Now it’s not an impossibility I could. I should probably do it before it’s mandatory for faith’s sake
2021 February 23
Oshitnothimagainhimagainme | |
Idonothingrightwrongnothingwrongright | |
NotyouIwanttobrainwithashovel | |
Gridsareplasticlockersforbaseballcards | |
Ineededanewgimmickhow’sthisgag | |
I’msidewayssidewaysnotbeingsideways | |
Myarbitraryforeveruntils | |
foreverpreventeditinguntil |
2020 November 25
Bleggalgaze: thank you
more than imaginary
friends not life burdens
our sweet Star Chamber
thank you Bleggalgaze: I have
never written for
me or about me
to me Bleggalgaze: orb pinged
O! my doorbell rung
2020 November 21
Tonight’s lead story:
having released the Krackern
Georgia Governor Krackern
the TRAITOR Brian Kemp
pick-up-trucked by Krackern,
Fox bowtied Krackern-Whisperer
2024 potential Krackern POTUS candidate
the Traitor Carlson
HEAD ON PIKE
by Krackern decree (I am sm
all, I laugh),
Charles Koch ovens
he over-released the Krackern,
chuckles self-deprecatingly until cameras confirmed off
Today in Oligarchs’ Oopsey Ocence.
2020 September 4
2020 August 21
Simplenote haiku
virgin, I cannot highlight
my penetration
must moan sans serif,
squint though bottom one-seventh
progressive lens
to see font, Jeff chill
I never read what I write
At least I can tag