2022 April 5

Team leaves stain like creed
on inner-eyelids chiming
in vulnerable uh-ohs
smoked in campfire poison
I saw the hat and wanted
to buy it No, I haven’t flarted
every enemy atrocity
enemy defined by creed
and who I rooted for when seven
Is there a definitive bible
on the English verb *to be*
as in, *to be in the upperdeck
of Memorial Stadium
watching the thunderstorm
cross Greenmount before
electrocution by choice*
Soon I won’t be able to tell
you three times we are being
reprogrammed

2022 April 4

  • At Hilltop now a covid, flu, and strep outbreak
  • Two weeks ago the mask mandate lifted as did mandatory covid testing for undergraduates
  • 80% of people on campus maskless, all aware of the covid, flu, and strep outbreak
  • Myself and my colleagues wear masks because one of us is six months pregnant and worries
  • Our boss doesn’t, sits in small enclosed rooms with us
  • My colleagues are livid at boss and I am livid for them
  • Key component of our shitlord ordered daily reprogramming
  • requires lucratively rewarded amoral shitlord psy-op savants rewiring us
  • to ignore the personal livid for seething hatred
  • against anything and anybody and everything but shitlords
  • Did you know that Disney is Communist?
  • I will ask my boss in our weekly one-on-one to wear a mask at least in the presence of the one of us who is pregnant
  • I’m not hopeful I won’t have to write about it without some increase to my personal lividity, revolution!

2022 March 29

  1. Made the mistake again of attempting a novel recommended by anyone I know in real life or digital who talks incessantly about Blanchot
  2. It hurts, this wanting to give a dimension to life when life is precisely that dimension, Ashbery said
  3. I’m not reseeding MSADI5G but the new Destroyer album versus the new Guided by Voices album, it’s not close, so not close, so I am reseeding: I rescind Guided by Voices elevation to Third Permanent Seat, I can type about this all day every day and my forbidding myself even in digitabletdaily works most days
  4. Destroyer’s new album did it, sparked it, five great songs, two omg songs, two holyfuck songs, one KABOOM, three seconds in, the only reason it will never be one of my five favorite songs ever is I’m old and other songs have up to a fifty year head start
  5. three seconds in, KABOOM JOY! laugh, I’d forgot, kaboom joy like pain kaboom
  6. body remembered, mind-muffled until activated, poof! everyone wants to be engraved as an epitaph
  7. Other than Ashbery, who people call difficult, I don’t want to read geniuses analyzing why they can’t (but *how* Zeno’s dilemma close they got page after painstaking page) capture the ineffable in words, woe and angst (and zero humor)
  8. Ashbery said, Alone with our madness and favorite flower we see that there really is nothing left to write about. Or rather, it is necessary to write about the same old things in the same way, repeating the same things over and over for love to continue and be gradually different
  9. Destroyer’s new album reminded me I (still love Roxy Music) thrill on tribal trills, their kits and chords, I chimed. There, I tried

2021 December 1

Of course I started Books of Jacob just to hold the book as object and book as book in hand and each because required reading and like almost every novel I start I caution myself I’m liking it too much and let’s see tomorrow but this one’s roots’ depth evident already I do not regret winning my bet against myself I would start it, I’d break the paperback spine except for that jinxing part when combined with this jinxing part jinxes exponentially

I picked another fight with borth nethesdans, this I confess a favorite obsession, much more powerful than recreational loathing of porth notomac which is half Rockville, two fifths Gaithersburg, one fifth Darnestown, they resent a new map that clusters them with Silver Springers and – here’s the outrage – Takoma Parkers

We entered east moco on Norbeck Road, MD 28, weeks ago, I wrote about MD 28 years ago, we walked the Underground Railroad Trail, trailhead where Layhill turns turns into Ednor crossing Norwood, saw *the* Sandy Spring, east moco *all* USPS-called Silver Spring, I can’t argue a moco neighborhood name east of Georgia Avenue

Books of Jonah may amaze me but I’ll not get 4/5ths of the religious allusions and references in a book that will be interrogating Torah and Koran and Bible and each’s adherents’relationships to the others, don’t get me wrong, this is a reason to read it, I hope the 5/5ths on helmetball teams and glee clubs teaches me something much smarter than dumb I am, I’ll get the part about zealotry