ON MY FIRST CHAPTER
FAULKNER’S *AS I LAY DYING*
INFATUATION
Adze: needed google
preindustrial handheld
tool’s meaning, he types
ON MY FIRST CHAPTER
FAULKNER’S *AS I LAY DYING*
INFATUATION
Adze: needed google
preindustrial handheld
tool’s meaning, he types
L, love, these paintings
mean anything to you? Do
you want me to paint
more for you? if no
OK if maybe I won’t
if yes I start now
The red blue yellow tubes of gouache L bought in Baltimore were in the same paper bag as the watercolor brushes I bought in Baltimore, uh-oh, not that I’m going to give up fountain pen and watercolor ink but maybe I don’t have to stain my hands each and every night with them, I broke my gouache duck, laugh!
* | * | * | * | |||
* | * | |||||
* | What | could | possibly | * | ||
possess | seven | syllables | ||||
* | to | stomach | haikus? | * | ||
* | * | * | ||||
* | When | head | grimaces | * | ||
seven | syllables | baptize | ||||
* | Feet | demand | credit | * | ||
* | * | |||||
* | * | * | * |
* | * | ||||||||
I’ve been using clear | |||||||||
Elmer’s Glue for my glazes | |||||||||
Mix watercolor | |||||||||
* | * | ||||||||
ink fountain pen ink | |||||||||
watercolor paint squirted | |||||||||
directly from tube | |||||||||
* | * | ||||||||
half inch of water | |||||||||
let evaporate | |||||||||
half inch of water | |||||||||
* | * | ||||||||
stir vigorously | |||||||||
make. I haven’t been writing | |||||||||
My ban on watching | |||||||||
* | * | ||||||||
moving images | |||||||||
on screens intensifying | |||||||||
in correlation | |||||||||
* | * | ||||||||
to what images | |||||||||
I will not watch tomorrow | |||||||||
in my head today | |||||||||
* | * |
* | * | ||||||
Give armageddonists | |||||||
a glimpse of apocalypse | |||||||
better than | |||||||
Give apocalyptics | |||||||
a glimpse of armageddon | |||||||
yes? in the sentence | |||||||
Give armageddonists | |||||||
a glimpse of apocalypse | |||||||
initiates death stare | |||||||
There is no off-switch | |||||||
* | * |
The scanner cheating, the cheating by blog-palette, sunlight through windows
My new old cobbles
Can’t in front of anyone
Who haven’t I told
we are the black flies
made screened porches required
fuck your expense. welts
Haiku taught me my
raving has a safe space not
to be Our Shitlords
know your time is short
and dreary if you’re lucky
Haiku rage machine
Not type night yet time
running out he taps Wiser
me still stops to think
instead of just typing
this counting to five focuses
abacus
me on beads for praise
Freight trains kettled in my bark
yards abbreviated
Lynn’s friend’s first ask:
So when are you retiring
She claims she knew me
Gaithersburg High School
She knows more about my life
than I know of hers
Newest theory: I
too can break kayfabe fat chance
it gets broke by me
Hurtling, me. Outrage
outpaced by duh, paraphrase
daily. Spurtling me
Exculpatory | Machiavellianism | obliterated | ||||||||
Americanized | anthropomorphically | demasculinized | ||||||||
obamination | anesthesiologist | discombobulate | ||||||||
incapacitate | politicalization | Abolitionists | ||||||||
underestimate | falsifiability’s | serendipity | ||||||||
I woke from mourning | ||
nap Allude prance pun cellar | ||
break Back to the duh | ||
I | nap | break |
woke | Allude | Daily |
from | prance | duh |
mourning | pun | back |
cellar | ||
break Back to the duh | ||
nap Allude prance pun cellar | ||
I woke from mourning |
© | ® | ≠| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
P | l | e | a | s | e | d | w | i | t | h | t | o | d | a | y’ | s | p | o | o | p | |||||||||||
c | o | n | t | e | n | t | a | n | d | p | r | e | s | e | n | t | a | t | i | o | n | © | |||||||||
b | o | t | h, | f | a | r | t | M | i | c | h | i | g | a | n | ||||||||||||||||
® | © | ® | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
© | o | u | t | o | f | m | y | s | y | s | t | e | m | ||||||||||||||||||
F | u | c | k | m | e | a | n | d | p | a | r | a | p | h | r | a | s | i | n | g | |||||||||||
m | e | a | n | d | p | r | e | t | e | n | d | i | n | g | ® | ||||||||||||||||
© | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
© | p | a | r | a | p | h | r | a | s | i | n | g | m | e | |||||||||||||||||
a | n | g | u | i | s | h | e | s | m | e, | m | y | m | o | l | e | s | k | i | n | e | s | © | ||||||||
f | r | o | m | 1 | 9 | 8 | 0 | © | |||||||||||||||||||||||
© | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
m | i | l | d | e | w | i | n | g | u | n | r | e | a | d | |||||||||||||||||
b | y | m | e, | t | h | a | n | k | y | o | u | f | o | r | p | i | n | g | i | n | g | ||||||||||
m | y | s | c | r | e | a | m | ! | W | o | r | l | d | d | y | i | n | g | |||||||||||||
® | © | ® | ≠|
I think get out of stocks
bury the money in land
pretend land not stolen
Digital money, can’t
buy hummus at student
union w dollar bills
Why bother with chip
implanting, I volunteer,
shit, I fucking beg
You! Look at me! often
If I wanted office I’d
run on hate too three and four
campaign promises
matter, their unmattering
composts, click POST now
Olive, Stanley, Crow | ||||||||||
side door our house gif by C | ||||||||||
who’s here! Joy! A week | ||||||||||
from Saturday we | ||||||||||
drive to Michigan, today | ||||||||||
C & I Phillips | ||||||||||
(^ Diebenkorn, yo ^) | ||||||||||
tomorrow we three | ||||||||||
Glenstone, we will Toledo | ||||||||||
once in Michigan | ||||||||||
Hope for and hope not | |||
I can’t help with that | |||
academic scaffolding | |||
My new five seven | |||
five elephant note haiku | |||
five seven five jug | |||
five font bucks a month | |||
Locals debate whether shock | |||
wave or vaporize | |||
Don’t stop typing to grid this | |||
Don’t stop to digress elsewhere | |||
Don’t stop to rewrite | |||
but stop to reread | |||
tomorrow Stop worrying | |||
annihilation | |||
just hope that it’s quick | |||
Academic scaffolding: | |||
schtick death to this grid |
E | v | e | r | y | t | h | i | n | g’ | s | a | w | o | r | k | |||||||||||||
e | s | p | e | c | i | a | l | l | y | h | o | n | e | s | t | e | f | f | o | r | t | s | ||||||
i | n | d | i | s | s | o | n | a | n | t | n | o | w | |||||||||||||||
9 | 9 | % | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||
a | l | g | o | r | t | h | m | d | e | s | i | g | n | e | d | w | h | i | r | l | p | o | o | l | ||||
h | a | l | f- | t | r | u | t | h | s | j | u | s | t | f | o | r | y | o | u | |||||||||
H | o | w | f | a | k | e | d | o | i | n | e | e | d | |||||||||||||||
t | o | s | e | e | m | t | o | m | a | k | e | y | o | u | b | e | l | i | e | v | e | |||||||
w | h | a | t | i’ | m | n | o | t | s | e | l | l | i | n | g | |||||||||||||
y | o | u | m | o | r | e | t | h | a | n | h | a | l | f- | t | r | u | e | ||||||||||
T | h | e | s | e | c | r | e | t | w | o | r | d | i | s | f | l | e | a | b | u | s | |||||||
M | o | w | r | m | r | m | y | s | i | g | h | o | f | h | o | n | o | r | ||||||||||
what | i | like | and | what | |||
I | hate | about | evernote | ||||
a | please | me | hai | ku | |||
HEY! | a | test | of | the | |||
EMERGENCY OLIGARCH | |||||||
uh | AWOOGA | oh | |||||
Helmetball | at | best | |||||
academic | scaffolding | ||||||
(sorry | wrong | seven | |||||
syllable | grievance) | ||||||
motherfucking | metaphor | ||||||
particularly | |||||||
how | fast | (I’m | obsessed) | ||||
friend | spin | by | stop | scolding, | Jeff | ||
No | gentle | Remind | |||||
Of | course | George | is | my | |
favorite | he’s | most | people | I | |
like’s | favorite | we’re | George | ||
Ukraine | nuclear | ||||
John | v | Paul | radiation | ||
fuck | dying | from | that | ||
but the grid reminds me (a) I did leave the prebepod voluntarily at least 50/50 I was not kicked out and was represented at my wedding by people I cho(o)se to hang with (b) David Phillips the one break-up I don’t remember (Annie Hawk, laugh) cleanly but that was when we were all at our worse and best acid-wise
but was reminded by latest grid to pay MORE ATTENTION TO THE UP AND DOWN re otherDavid, neither Dave, barklaughingly, every dave I’ve met
True won’t affect who doesn’t read but now that I’ve granted myself privilege to not post when I don’t want to I have no reason to not spend the time honing the post, subtler than folding the towels
Y | e | s | b | u | t | n | o | t | t | h | i | s | o | n | e | ||||||||
D | o | n | / | t | u | s | e | m | e | as | u | e | x | c | u | s | e | ||||||
T | o | n | i | g | h | t | b | u | t | n | o | m | o | r | e | ||||||||
N | o | m | o | r | e | t | o | n | i | g | h | t | b | u | t | ||||||||
m | e | as | y | o | u | r | e | x | c | u | s | e | j | u | s | t | n | o | |||||
A | l | l | y | e | s | e | s | a | r | e | n | o | e | s | |||||||||
M | y | p | r | o | g | n | o | s | i | s | n | o | t | ||||||||||||||
w | r | o | n | g | m | y | d | i | a | g | n | o | s | i | s | n | o | t | |||||||||
w | r | o | n | g | m | y | r | e | m | e | d | i | e | s | |||||||||||||
s | u | c | k | I | t | h | o | u | g | h | t | k | a | y | f | a | b | e | |||||||||
b | r | o | k | e | n | t | h | e | r | e | w | a | s | n | e | v | e | r | k | a | y | ||||||
f | a | b | e | b | r | e | a | k | f | a | s | t | a | b | l | e | |||||||||||
a | l | w | a | y | s | n | o | d | e | n | y | ||||||||||||||||
k | n | o | w | i | n | g | a | l | w | a | y | s | d | e | n | y | i | n | g | ||||||||
D | E | f | o | r | e | s | l | a | s | h | o | r | |||||||||||||||
Trend chalk pious done | ||||||||
Not a poet in general | ||||||||
but especially | ||||||||
not a disaster | ||||||||
poet lavishly painting | ||||||||
gruesome evidence | ||||||||
flowerfully stab | ||||||||
by enraged stab by happy | ||||||||
flowered enraged stab | ||||||||
Not a poet in | ||||||||
general but especially | ||||||||
not quiet though I | ||||||||
try and rereading | ||||||||
know I’m a better disaster | ||||||||
poet trend chalk pious done |
A year ago today I posted the first grid, I typed last night |
Transitioning from ink and tablet journal keeping ended my ink and tablet self-portraiting because why? that’s right, fuck me |
some of those early grids hoowee and quoting from links like chum, chum, like you’ll click or beg-me bait when you won’t at basic bait |
I miss writing in journals and still do on hikes when Earthgirl paints, but deciphering my handwriting and editing before comprehending when translating and typing into digital, unfuck me there, I could tap into simplenote on my phone on hike when Earthgirl painting it just occurred to me laugh out loud, when have lots of days to hike the next two weeks |
I started tapping at simplenote in Summer 2020 and its limitations freed me with an archiving option tablets don’t have – I can’t do anything in it *but* type and tag then cut and paste and – here’s the key – abandon knowing I reread it in a horrible sans serif font I can’t change but can control + the screen so I can read it without squinting. I build the link grids in sheets, the part that’s me typed in simplenote |
The grid I realized an attempt to replace the ink and watercolor straight lines intersecting at deliberately just plus or minus 90 degree angles, once I discovered posting photos into grid cells didn’t crash my free shitlord blogging platform but did allow just one post to front page at a time and the asshole in charge of brand marketing in my head said no can do |
That’s right, here’s where I talk about Tony Hecht who taught me structure liberates, freedom constricts, I think this true, and though the haikus have dried up and I seem to be following no rules now and am content with content |
In any case, I had no idea a year since I started gridding and never stopped and though hooweed through iterations but I see grids remaining until they don’t, I can’t imagine me thinking the bullets before the grid should replace the grid, I can’t imagine my eyesight improving to when I desire a smaller font (push me) |
I thought life in bro | ken kayfabe would be more fun | ||
idiot admits | |||
No potus bishop
diagonals or knights L
much less king castles
minus shitlord Yes.
Casino Afghanistan
hemorrhaging equi-
ty its viabil
ity dry sump-pumpng its
liability
Don’t over think it
Kayfabe doesn’t break
minus shitlord Yes
I am the plumber*
invited to committees
by professionals
to describe shit-tubes’
best practices re: shitty
deliberate choke
points (professionals
either acknowledge I know
of what I speak or
forever dismiss
me (death to the either/or)
as embittered staph)
What makes a good boss
sharpest interview question:
Me, nine of ten say
*I am the polite
Bajoran people invite
to symposiums
but have no real sway
among my people* today’s
lame metaphor, gag
Kayfabe past broken
now obsolete, remember,
sacrosanct a band
donned fans in colors
Each year your team’s demoted
Jeff, try shutting up
signals jeff signals | ||||||
jeff signals jeff signals jeff | ||||||
ignores jeff signals |
Disclaimer: I’ve no
academic scaffolding
so stop reading now
you want allusions
beyond those I discover
after abandon
gladyskravitzing
I tweeted and no one liked
13 stopped scrolling
immediately
scrolled on. Gladys the scold
saw Samantha this
Endora that, did
the original Gladys
survive black and white’s
death? Name gatekeeping
what made me think of Gladys
and not forgotten
interlibrary
loan coordinator Scold
reminded today
phew. Gladys Kravitz,
I forget her husband’s name
I could look it up
but that research, no.
Sc(r)ol(l)d. Sc(r)ol(l)ded. So yes it’s worked
out as designed to
the clusterfuck I tweeted
reflexively at a dope
who should know better
motherfucking scold
asserts. Scrolls past his life. Types
haikus in carrels
Gulf of Mexico
on fire, ruptured pipeline
burning Triskelion
crude gallons of greed
Hurricane targeting Gulf
Arctic melting, Portland
Billionaire Space Race
Update as fucking often
as necessary
re: Washington Post
(disclosure: space racer owned)
Hey! don’t look at that
look the fuck at this!
How do you pronounce Barthelme
my latest savior
I give me until
Tuesday to fail him Shitlord
actuaries urge
shitlord divestment
from peasants, planet poisoned
should one shitlord care