Category: Bleggalgaze

2023 July? Me? Yes, All the Time

My right eye above had its painting tape ripped off and no longer exists but a facsimile does, scanned onto printer paper and cut to size and glued to the backside of what was my right eye and now is my left eye below to make a two-sided hexjeff, it’s not life but it’s not death exactly, yes?

2023 July 7

I have been using painters’ tape for a month or more but always removed it, this is the first that I deliberately left on. I’ve added the category Painters’ tape and will use it whenever I use painters tape whether I leave it on or take it off, and I’ve also added the category Acrylic Paint Pen, which I have used before also, and I will tag every time I use one. I will not go back and retroactively tag my previous omissions of either

2023 May Awoogahex


Excrutiating,
waiting for saturated
cold press block to dry

Exasperating
warping then saturated
happy accidents

I claim my idea
Bliss. I’ve three canvases sop
pingwet, teaching my

self blue so I can
teach myself green, awooga
my cataclysmic

pacifier, boop, thumb
in my canary elbow
of weathervane an

kle of cassandra
merkin of fool. Digit
al type while gouache dries

2022 March 2


A vomit is an extreme burp
I once consoled Billy Wayne
busy extreme burping on my shoe

I need to start a new elephant
note page for March but was
afraid I’d forget this poem’s first

sentence formatting another
month in a platform I’d rather
paint bricks than use. No

abacuses were used in the how
old are you Jeff the gimmick
rictus of this poem. I’m growing

2023 February 6


Strongest proof of god
is that I can’t sing, second
proof I can’t draw shit

I not only can
nap now I need nap or I’m
feebler than new borns

I lose my balance
opening the dishwasher
Still love steep mountains

up but steep mountains
down now no, fucking hurts, knees
yes, eyes more, can’t see

where feet go, will I
kill myself deliberately
or “stumble” to my

death, a soccer team’s
shirt has joint you can bet my
death over/under

2023 January 17

To stop myself thinking about it I bought an Arches 12 x 12 hot-press watercolor block which, if I’d thought about it instead of thinking I needed to buy it, is too big for the bed of the scanner I use so I can post the squares here and there and too big for the laminator I use so that the squares can be handled without fountain pen ink staining fingers, the above is the 12 x 12 cropped to 11 x 11, fine metajeffphors abound

2022 November 18

I am the only Jeff I know.
I meet other Jeffs often
through work or Subaru
service managers who
insist their name is Jeffrey,
please don’t confuse me
with them, I’m not a James
who hates Jim or a Charles
who hates Charlie or a Robert
who hates Bob or a Margaret
who hates Peggy or a William
who hates Billy or a Stephen
Steve or Michael Mike
or David Dave or Edward Ted
or Eddie. Please call me Jeff.
I’m the only one I know.

2022 September 21

*

  1. Not reminded myself lately outloud of my Slothrop allusion, my telemetry and America’s still aligned and synchronized
  2. Jeff = America’s Death Path! though I’ve been eating healthier and taking long lunch walks, I hope I’ve bought us another eight minutes!
  3. BLCKDGRD’s coma remains, I’m enjoying a fascinating wave of frantic sparking (sic) panicky zen, a new sensation, fun, I hadn’t gauged my fuckit meters to alert me my damn’s low, dashboard alert on the. fuck. it.
  4. I link fish for you cause I read what I catch and want to share but ever-worsening duh, do you need me to awooga it at you?

2022 September 20

  • Reminder: the fall of the USSR the catalyst for the elimination of progressivism as laughably once-upon-a-time viable alternative to British taxpayers paying for a freeloader’s funeral
  • BLCKDGRD crashed. Details unimportant other than it was them, not me, they tell me. As I type this at 7:42pm EDT the site is transferring back command to me. Told it can take up to 24 hours, I’m not looking until morning
  • I haven’t backed-up BLCKDGRD since forever, this blog my music and poetry anthologies, my memory palace
  • Laugh, my not emailing Christine about her daughter a direct result of my telling Morningstar about his mother
  • Until typing this sentence my only thought about what to do if google murdered BLCKDGRD was I’m not posting grids at pOj (wordpress for those of you who don’t click through) then remembered I post grids at pOj and the fun part is whatever grid I make in google sheets looks nothing like the grid on pOj, I love pOj except for the wordpress part (not that I want *this* fixed it’s that I couldn’t fix if I wanted unless I pay more)
  • Reminder: shitlords would decracker if they wanted to decracker and if they wanted to decracker which they don’t it’s too late which is just fine with shitlords
  • I wrote this in an email to a friend (just so I’m not accused of plagiarism): Besides, in 2025 when Emperor DeSantis forms the Crackergestapo I’ll be offline and offgrid anyway
  • My first response to BLCKDGRD loading slow was fuck this chromebook, laughed that my next thought was fuck if I buy a new pc, laugh, this is new, I will ride this chromebook to a happy passing, may it be years, in full knowledge I double-mainline google evidence against me to 2025’s Crackergestapo on my deviancy and persistent derision of crackerchristers and White Blue-Eyed Jesus Cracker
  • that shitlords could decracker if they wanted to
  • Six hours, BLCKDGRD’s not back, I’m chill, not like I post this shit at pOj that I haven’t read back to myself yet
  • did he jump or was he pushed?

2022 August 14

Full disclosure: these *are* watercolor and ink and pencil on either regular graph paper or regular watercolor paper (Arches, yes, fuck me, the block does keep the paper from warping when drying), but to capture a closer image to what they look like wet (versus what they look like dry) I scan the dried on the office scanner/printer and enhance the colors using souped-up saturation and souped-up vividness and souped-up sharpness and souped-up resolution, I don’t consider this cheating given the limited skills of the artist for anything but lines and color but think I should mention it in case *you* think it’s cheating, fine metaphors abound

2022 August 1

Now that I sit and type
where I sit and type
I sit and type
and justify buying
more particular model
pens, my vacation
mandated ink
infatuation
timer a tick till BEEP,
I will use them at work
not sitting and typing
on screen that I sit and type
at? in? on?
Two weeks same
house not ours
too much for the two of us
who were not too much
for the two of us
for the two weeks
just the two of us

2022 May 19

If I thought my poetry ever be accepted by a big small deal I’dv’d foldered all abandoned haikus but don’t don’t but do but don’t not concession to lack of academic scaffolding laugh I know I type arrhythmic cadence as I talk This criticism and pride I forget what saying get to what new thing I say talking past new thing cause old already me voice mail whisperer lords I serve voice mail listener too re: PD hear myself talk each time I need listen, delete delete delete years since anyone talked to me. Monkeypox, huh