Category: My Complicity

2022 August 14

Full disclosure: these *are* watercolor and ink and pencil on either regular graph paper or regular watercolor paper (Arches, yes, fuck me, the block does keep the paper from warping when drying), but to capture a closer image to what they look like wet (versus what they look like dry) I scan the dried on the office scanner/printer and enhance the colors using souped-up saturation and souped-up vividness and souped-up sharpness and souped-up resolution, I don’t consider this cheating given the limited skills of the artist for anything but lines and color but think I should mention it in case *you* think it’s cheating, fine metaphors abound

2022 August 1

Now that I sit and type
where I sit and type
I sit and type
and justify buying
more particular model
pens, my vacation
mandated ink
infatuation
timer a tick till BEEP,
I will use them at work
not sitting and typing
on screen that I sit and type
at? in? on?
Two weeks same
house not ours
too much for the two of us
who were not too much
for the two of us
for the two weeks
just the two of us

2022 May 3

Jeff,RuleNumberOne:Don’texplain
NothingfucksmyjudgmentupmoreaboutsomethingIwritethan
somethingIwritegettingthousandsinsteadofdozensofhits,inthis
caseNapoleon’sdeathannouncement.Ideletedthepoembelowthis
onefromyesterdays’BLCKDGRDpost,fortherecordIlikethepoembelow
Installedstaticinitsplace

2022 April 10

*******
Kensington to Frederick to Hagerstown to Hancock to Breezewood to Toledo to Ann Arbor to JacksonI divided my backpack to bring twice as much stuff including books I will not read and pens I will not useI just received Jonathan Crary’s *Scorched Earth,* it’s his previous 24/7 capitalism theory on Are You Paying Attention!do I need someone w proper academic scaffolding referring back to names I haven’t thought of since grad schoolto confirm our species as fucked up as I’ve fucking yodeled since the last time you told me to shut the fuck up?
*******

2022 March 29

  1. Made the mistake again of attempting a novel recommended by anyone I know in real life or digital who talks incessantly about Blanchot
  2. It hurts, this wanting to give a dimension to life when life is precisely that dimension, Ashbery said
  3. I’m not reseeding MSADI5G but the new Destroyer album versus the new Guided by Voices album, it’s not close, so not close, so I am reseeding: I rescind Guided by Voices elevation to Third Permanent Seat, I can type about this all day every day and my forbidding myself even in digitabletdaily works most days
  4. Destroyer’s new album did it, sparked it, five great songs, two omg songs, two holyfuck songs, one KABOOM, three seconds in, the only reason it will never be one of my five favorite songs ever is I’m old and other songs have up to a fifty year head start
  5. three seconds in, KABOOM JOY! laugh, I’d forgot, kaboom joy like pain kaboom
  6. body remembered, mind-muffled until activated, poof! everyone wants to be engraved as an epitaph
  7. Other than Ashbery, who people call difficult, I don’t want to read geniuses analyzing why they can’t (but *how* Zeno’s dilemma close they got page after painstaking page) capture the ineffable in words, woe and angst (and zero humor)
  8. Ashbery said, Alone with our madness and favorite flower we see that there really is nothing left to write about. Or rather, it is necessary to write about the same old things in the same way, repeating the same things over and over for love to continue and be gradually different
  9. Destroyer’s new album reminded me I (still love Roxy Music) thrill on tribal trills, their kits and chords, I chimed. There, I tried

2022 March 15

Me in a Robert Serra at Glenstone, a rich fuck’s private art collection as laundromat but free, just need a reservation, usually need to make months in advance, it was Sunday morning an hour short because of clocks and the wind chill factor in the lows teens I was told on the eights so I what the fuck tried and got us in at 10AM, only slot open, Saul to Parkwood to Knowles turns to Strathmore to Rockville Pike to Tuckerman to Falls to Glen (the bridge over Watts Branch where Glen, South Glen, and Glen Mills meet still magic) to there
Humanity cannot outgrow its death drive!
Waltzing towards Armageddon
This is a fossil-fuel war
The epidemic of covid complacency
Death of a political animal
Not only the first museum we visited since plague and then not-plague plague, the only shitlord showoff laundromat I’ve ever visited that *didn’t* charge me for the privilege of admiring shitlord’s collection
Low pay, no advancement opportunities
⤋In which I jinx my reading of Wings⤋
Henry James reviews America upon his return from self-exile
I read Ohle’s *Motorman* and loved and ordered the next Mordenke novel but weirdest the sherbet I thought between the two *another* attempt at Henry James, so here I am jinxing not only the having fun! read of Wings of the Dove I am jinxing my reading of the next Mordenke of Ohle
Shitlord loyal to their rubes, MLB edition
Maggie’s weekly{ feuilleton }’s weekly
I will write about work here but for now I’m burying it in grids not because anyone who’d object reads but here is the Kids in the Hall allusion
The cats and dogs of Istanbul
Lynn EmanuelCovering Ishiguro

2022 March 1

I’d be one of the first killed in a nuclear exchange with Russia
I work two miles from the White House
live four miles outside DCwithin two miles of Walter Reed and NIH
For 58 years I’ve lived within fifteen miles of DC
grew up during the Cold War
never fretted nuclear annihilation once
Do I think the stub-fingered ickiest shitlord sociopath
(at *this* given moment in time in shitlord narrative)
would destroy the world rather than lose everything while getting Gaddafi-ed
Hillary laughing?
NobutIconfessIspentafret

2021 December 24

My Next Gen Clusterfuck Metaphor of the Day: Picard returns to the Enterprise to get his saddle discovers the crew routinely conducting a barium sweep up to no good, the barium sweep has started, any living cell barium swept be dead, Picard uses his saddle to capture the nogoodnik who’ll be a Bejoran terrorist in the penultimate Next Gen episode and a Vulcan cast member on Voyager. Picard threatens torture and death with a laser welder, the nogoodnik scoofs, says, you’re Starfleet, you won’t kill me. Picard zaps him with one of those across all franchises Star Trek neck needles that fart upon injection, I guess you’re right, says Picard, then leaves him unconscious to die in the barium sweep

2021 October 17

Subaru hate and desperate I own a new Subaru
a base model 2022 Impreza sedan one of only two new cars available
plus Fitz did me right on the trade-in for fucked-up service on recall
Too, try walk into a car dealership and buy a new car, cash in hand
there will not be another new car in America until 2025
Bluetooth works there’s no CD-player
console not a casino slot machine
It made it to 70 on 270 today without shuddering

2021 January 5

Faith cannot be bought
though fake belief can be smoked
but not if it’s not
cured in honest rot
slow-roasted in extra-hoaxed
faith of the tree knot
Zealots can be bought,
taught to hear each word spoken
as instruction not
faith, grifts’ full jackpot….
I’ve faith in trees, and my broken
faith is overwrought
but not for sale. Caught
paying for belief I joked
slap’s most when it’s not
My faith leaves a blot
in every hole ever poked
Faith cannot be bought
Find a free tree knot